You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup: Self-care During the Holidays

You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup: Self-care During the Holidays

The holiday season at the end of each year often brings joy, connection, and for many people, stress. This is particularly true for those who work in reproductive medicine. As we work to help fulfill our patients’ family-building dreams, we feel pressure to meet hopes to end the year pregnant; we feel pained sharing bad news, and all while balancing timelines related to end-of-year lab shutdowns. With so much to do and so little time in which to do it, we often forget to make time to care for ourselves.
  
It feels easy to remind patients of the importance of engaging in self-care. Intuitively, we know that we must take care of ourselves to take care of others. We are often reminded of this during our holiday air travel when we are advised by flight attendants to put on our oxygen mask before helping others. Why then do we continue to support others and thus fill their emotional cups but not do more to fill up our own cups through self-care? Our misconceptions about self-care are often the culprits. Here are some tips to bust those misconceptions and help you help yourself. 

Myth-Busting Tip #1: It’s Not Selfish to Engage in Self-Care.  

Many people, especially those of us who work in healthcare, feel called to help others. In addition, we may have heard messages throughout our lives about prioritizing our own care as being selfish. But self-care isn’t selfish, self-care is actually the first step in caring for others. 

 

Myth-Busting Tip #2: Engaging in Self-Care Doesn’t Have to Break the Bank. 

Although there are many self-care activities that can run up your credit card bill, there are far more free or low cost self-care activities that can help us feel better. Examples include going for a walk or engaging in physical activity, calling a friend, family member, or colleague for support, creative activities such as painting or photography, taking an extra-long shower, deep-breathing, getting a good night’s sleep, singing or dancing, journaling your feelings, eating healthy, reducing alcohol consumption, taking a break from social media for a day, and speaking as kindly to ourselves as we would speak to our best friends.

  

Myth-Busting Tip #3: Self-Care Can Take as Little as 5-10 Minutes. 

It can feel difficult to find the time to engage in self-care when we feel rushed at work, at home, and in the world around us. However, there are many quick acts of self-care that can be completed no matter where we are. For example, at work you can engage in a few minutes of deep breathing before and after difficult calls, bring a healthy lunch to work and leave your desk to eat it, stay hydrated, wear headphones to reduce auditory sensory overload, and practice the 20-20-20 rule (look 20 feet away from your screen, for at least 20 seconds, every 20 minutes) to reduce eye strain. If you are able, consider taking the stairs instead of the escalator, stand and stretch several times an hour, and walk to your colleague’s desk to talk to them rather than calling or texting. If your mobility is limited, gentle stretching and progressive muscle relaxation may be good options for physical activity at work.

 

Myth-Busting Tip #4: Self-Care Won’t Solve all Your Problems, but it Can Help You Cope with Them.  

We can’t talk about self-care for those working in healthcare without acknowledging the systemic problems within medical systems that cause or contribute to our stress levels.
 
Experiencing burn-out or psychological distress in healthcare is not the healthcare professional’s fault but rather is a normal and expected reaction to increasing demands and decreasing resources.
 
It’s important to acknowledge that we can’t deep breathe our way out of long work hours, increasing pressure to see more patients and with less time, all while fulfilling our obligations related to research, committee service, teaching, and maintaining a healthy work/life balance. Vut adequate self-care can help us survive these stressors and the psychological distress they cause. For example, self-care can inhibit our flight or fight response and help balance our nervous system. It boosts our physical health, prepares us to respond effectively during times of stress, helps us feel good about ourselves, reminds us of our self-worth, and helps us stay connected to others who can support us in times of need.  
 
This holiday season don’t forget to give yourself the gift of self-care!

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